Caring
for Caregivers Newsletter
Published by Janice Wallace, The Eldercare Coach
Ask
Janice!
Dear Janice,
I moved in with my 79 and 81 year old parents about four months ago. Dad
has slight dementia and Mom has diabetes and occasional complications.
Neither of them seems equipped to deal with their finances. I helped them
file Chapter 7 last year, but the daily stress of paying bills and balancing
their ever dwindling checkbook is too daunting for them. Both my sister
and I agree we need to take this burden from them. Do we need Power of
Attorney or something called a "conservatorship?" Do they need
to be declared legally incompetent? Yikes, please help.
Mary A.
Dear Mary,
Your parents each need to sign a durable power of attorney for property.
This document allows your parents to appoint someone, in this case you
or your sister to manage their finances. By managing finances, I mean
activities such as paying bills, selling property or signing a contract.
A simple form of this document is available in stationery stores that
you can complete yourself or you can work with an estate planning attorney.
Be forewarned that banks and brokerage houses prefer to have their own
power of attorney forms signed, so check with your parent's banks to get
a copy of the bank's paperwork.
Your father's slight dementia is not a barrier to signing this document
as long as he understands the consequences of signing. The forms need
to be witnessed by two independent witnesses or notarized.
Since this issue has come up, it's a good time to look at the rest of
their estate and personal planning. Your parents should also have wills
or living trusts, durable power of attorneys for healthcare and consider
pre-need planning for their funerals. Most importantly, use this time
to have conversations with your parents about what their wishes are for
the future. It's tough to talk about disability and death. It's also a
part of life. Knowing your parents' wishes increases their control over
the future and gives you and your sister greater peace of mind.
One of the best explanations about legal issues and dementia that I've
found is available at Family Caregiver Alliance, www.caregiver.org.