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Elderly Driving: When should your family member stop driving?

 

Discussing a decline in elderly driving skills is a conversation that most of us dread. Aging changes our driving abilities. The reaction time needed to respond to driving hazards grows longer. Vision may be impaired. Physical limitations may affect the driver's ability to control the car.

Some individuals develop dementia that erodes their ability to process fast paced information, not be able to accurately interpret visual cues and exhibit impaired judgement. What ever is causing elderly driving concerns, family members may deny that they are having issues with driving and resist your attempts to discuss alternatives.

The only way to assess your family member's ability to drive is to ride with him. Unexplained dents or scapes on the car or an increase in tickets are signals that a "ride along" is in order. The following warning signs mean that your family member should stop driving immediately.

  • Running stop signs or red lights without noticing
  • Stopping at green lights for no reason
  • Narrowly missing pedestrians or cars without realizing it
  • Switching lanes or merging without looking
  • Going the wrong way on one-way streets
  • Getting lost in familiar areas
  • Stopping in the middle of intersections
  • Mixing up gas and brake pedals

Asking your family member to stop driving is a very tough topic for families and seniors. This is not the type of conversation that you can just dive into without some preparation and expect to resolve in one conversation.

 Before starting a conversations about elderly driving with a family member:

  • Find out about alternatives to driving that exist in your family member's community.
  • Think through your family member's likely response to a discussion on driving and be emotionally prepared for it.
  • Pick a quiet, private time to share your concerns about your family member's driving with him. Tell him about the alternatives to driving that you have discovered.

If your family member agrees to stop driving, assist him with planning how he will run errands, keep appointments and enjoy social outings while not driving.

If your parent does not want to stop driving, your actions will vary according to the situation. Consider whether he will be influenced by his doctor advising him not to drive or having his license revoked. In most states, certain types of medical conditions must be reported to the Department of Motor Vehicles by the patient's doctor.

Many elderly drivers will voluntarily restrict their driving by choosing to not drive at night or on busy highways. Consider whether your family member still has the skils to drive safely with restrictions.

Would your family member consider taking a driving class to improve his skills?

Discuss what will happen to your family member's car.  Will it be sold or loaned to someone in the family?  Will a helper or caregiver drive the car to provide transportation for your family member?  Removing the car may be neccesary to remove the temptation to drive "just this once".

Conversations about elderly driving problems and ending driving can take a long time. Be prepared to be persistent and patient.
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